adventures in home makery

There's a lot to be said for having your first boyfriend at 24. You get skip over all the bullshit get down to the self reflexive scary stuff.  After living together for a little over a year I've come to terms with the fact I've made yet to make myself "at home".  It's not something I've ever done before.  Growing up home was an entirely different four letter word.  It was unstable and scary and instilled in me this fear of settling down.  I had to feel like I could pack up and dip out at anytime that was the only way to be safe.  But I'm not going anywhere and acknowledging that fact is fucking my shit up. While saying you're fully committed is one thing but like making yourself emotionally available is horrifying. So I've decided to to try to turn this shitty little house into a crappy little home.  Wish me luck